using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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