Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
