no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize