im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
