tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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