And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
