Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
