Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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