so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
