Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
