Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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