So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
