i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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