I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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