Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
