Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
