look no pants
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
