yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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