Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I understand Curling. That high.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
