Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
