I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
