You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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