no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize