She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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