tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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