I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
