We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
