I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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