can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great