I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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