I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
