I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
