just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize