eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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