Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
