lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
