So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
