yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
