just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
