I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
