I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
