I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The power of my boobs compel you
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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