Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
