You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
