I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
