watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
