first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
