john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
