i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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