we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
