I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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