the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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