the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
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I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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