i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
