People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
