there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
