i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He did a backflip because drugs
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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