I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
