Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
