it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
