OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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