Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
