I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
