when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
jump out the window naked night went bad
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