im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
