I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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