worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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