Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
