i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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