i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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