is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
