My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.