Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  Should I have kids to fix a relationship??

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  (925): Should I have kids to fix a relationship?? http://tfl.nu/aeth
  Replies (56) Good night (681) Bad night (8782)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling

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  (774): What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling http://tfl.nu/ijkr
  Replies (21) Good night (1042) Bad night (6103)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

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  (503): What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you? http://tfl.nu/o1lb
  Replies (27) Good night (1237) Bad night (5536)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.

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  (516): I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy. http://tfl.nu/zkq5
  Replies (24) Good night (2195) Bad night (4618)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?

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  (709): How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship? http://tfl.nu/5n74
  Replies (33) Good night (2377) Bad night (4691)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

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  (617): we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over. http://tfl.nu/igug
  Replies (4) Good night (1926) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA

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  (253): drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA http://tfl.nu/xnrm
  Replies (6) Good night (909) Bad night (2119)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.

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  (709): I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards. http://tfl.nu/5dgw
  Replies (6) Good night (1488) Bad night (603)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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  (870): I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that. http://tfl.nu/0bow
  Replies (21) Good night (749) Bad night (1212)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...

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  (410): Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend... http://tfl.nu/j7kv
  Replies (4) Good night (1080) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me

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  (970): my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me http://tfl.nu/zptz
  Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (386)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  When was that?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.

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  (515): Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy. (605): When was that? (515): Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy. http://tfl.nu/qcf9
  Replies (9) Good night (681) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...

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  (310): That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire... http://tfl.nu/4kfh
  Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN

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  (406): I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN http://tfl.nu/6se9
  Replies (1) Good night (289) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

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  (903): And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention http://tfl.nu/er1v
  Replies (1) Good night (864) Bad night (275)

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