Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.