Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife http://tfl.nu/wigu
  Replies (16) Good night (1997) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater. http://tfl.nu/r4ec
  Replies (9) Good night (4611) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it. http://tfl.nu/bv5q
  Replies (15) Good night (2909) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i wish peter jackson would direct porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): i wish peter jackson would direct porn http://tfl.nu/76vz
  Replies (14) Good night (3950) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say http://tfl.nu/znzu
  Replies (32) Good night (1993) Bad night (5306)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon http://tfl.nu/7c63
  Replies (6) Good night (3601) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools http://tfl.nu/2rog
  Replies (2) Good night (3348) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed. http://tfl.nu/rw7p
  Replies (4) Good night (3255) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  "The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): "The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match" http://tfl.nu/jczj
  Replies (11) Good night (2088) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You? http://tfl.nu/m5ki
  Replies (7) Good night (2674) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts. http://tfl.nu/zklc
  Replies (6) Good night (1415) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it" http://tfl.nu/19mj
  Replies (6) Good night (694) Bad night (1715)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me. http://tfl.nu/xrxi
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle http://tfl.nu/mlt6
  Replies (4) Good night (508) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still... http://tfl.nu/u0uu
  Replies (5) Good night (1537) Bad night (717)

Randomize