Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

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  (708): You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women http://tfl.nu/qt4m
  Replies (11) Good night (690) Bad night (1762)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant

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  (440): wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant http://tfl.nu/01g1
  Replies (54) Good night (1345) Bad night (15740)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...

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  (810): I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work... http://tfl.nu/lwph
  Replies (29) Good night (4319) Bad night (630)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Four. Poor grandma...

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  (403): I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught. (403): Four. Poor grandma... http://tfl.nu/klxl
  Replies (15) Good night (1310) Bad night (5661)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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  (206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8
  Replies (7) Good night (3810) Bad night (717)
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  (909): View more from California

  if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids

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  (909): if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids http://tfl.nu/et14
  Replies (18) Good night (1554) Bad night (3910)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out

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  (580): i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out http://tfl.nu/gevy
  Replies (64) Good night (1069) Bad night (9779)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.

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  (978): who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name. http://tfl.nu/fmfw
  Replies (16) Good night (1136) Bad night (4647)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.

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  (856): When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again. http://tfl.nu/chm7
  Replies (10) Good night (943) Bad night (3759)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.

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  (512): dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander. http://tfl.nu/scp8
  Replies (29) Good night (4625) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious

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  (870): Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious http://tfl.nu/hhr4
  Replies (9) Good night (2091) Bad night (482)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.

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  (970): Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/jvs7
  Replies (9) Good night (1077) Bad night (446)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.

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  (570): After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother. (1-570): Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off. http://tfl.nu/5ewz
  Replies (6) Good night (1849) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.

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  (817): Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong. http://tfl.nu/ru69
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (197)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.

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  (218): last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat. http://tfl.nu/thb6
  Replies (0) Good night (189) Bad night (152)

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