sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.