I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
