We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
