Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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