You work out of a Hotel?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
