I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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