i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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